Wow, it's been a long time since either of us have posted anything. Sorry about that, there's been a lot going on in our personal lives. Panda's asleep, it's past midnight, and we've gotta be up early in the morning so I won't take too long here, just a quick update to let you know we're both still alive before I hit the hay. Just a quick note, this is copied and pasted from my journal entry on Sunday morning, so when I say last night I really mean Saturday night, I just can't be bothered to go back and change it now, I'm too tired. G'night.
Okay, I know this is probably gonna be long, but please read it, 'cos I don't know what to do.
I've spoken to Panda, and he's given me permission to post this here. I've been trying to write this all morning.
Pan has had manic depression since he was six years old because of his father. His whole life he's been led to believe that he's worthless, a burden and a waste of space. Until recently, Pandora's artwork is the only thing he's felt confident in. What he sells has been his main source of income, and in his mind the money he brings in from that is the only way he contributes to the family at all. On Friday there was a troll here on DA. Its account was deactivated by the admins on the same day it was created, but during the time it was online it added a piece of Pan's work to a collection it was describing as 'the shittiest work on all of DeviantART'. It was just a little doodle he had done purely for fun and was BY NO MEANS his best work, but it still affected him badly. I mean, what do you expect to happen if you tell someone who's spent their whole life being told they're worthless that their hard work isn't good enough? Yesterday Pan went into a severe art block [link] He was (and still is) scared of drawing anything for fear that it isn't gonna be good enough. His confidence in his drawing was completely shattered. As I said before, Pandora believes the money he brings in from art commissions is the only way he contributes to our family. If he can't draw, he has nothing to sell, and thus that income stopped. Yesterday he couldn't see himself getting out of the art block, and figured it would be easier on all of us if he just wasn't there anymore. So last night he tried to hang himself. We were lucky I got up there at time - if I had gone through with my plan to finish off some paperwork, and come up only two minutes later, I would have lost him forever. For a few terrifying moments I thought I had. I was so relieved when he was okay, and I haven't let him out of my sight since. However, he's still in a bad way and I'm scared.
Any advice and support is welcome.
Thankyou.
I've spoken to Panda, and he's given me permission to post this here. I've been trying to write this all morning.
Pan has had manic depression since he was six years old because of his father. His whole life he's been led to believe that he's worthless, a burden and a waste of space. Until recently, Pandora's artwork is the only thing he's felt confident in. What he sells has been his main source of income, and in his mind the money he brings in from that is the only way he contributes to the family at all. On Friday there was a troll here on DA. Its account was deactivated by the admins on the same day it was created, but during the time it was online it added a piece of Pan's work to a collection it was describing as 'the shittiest work on all of DeviantART'. It was just a little doodle he had done purely for fun and was BY NO MEANS his best work, but it still affected him badly. I mean, what do you expect to happen if you tell someone who's spent their whole life being told they're worthless that their hard work isn't good enough? Yesterday Pan went into a severe art block [link] He was (and still is) scared of drawing anything for fear that it isn't gonna be good enough. His confidence in his drawing was completely shattered. As I said before, Pandora believes the money he brings in from art commissions is the only way he contributes to our family. If he can't draw, he has nothing to sell, and thus that income stopped. Yesterday he couldn't see himself getting out of the art block, and figured it would be easier on all of us if he just wasn't there anymore. So last night he tried to hang himself. We were lucky I got up there at time - if I had gone through with my plan to finish off some paperwork, and come up only two minutes later, I would have lost him forever. For a few terrifying moments I thought I had. I was so relieved when he was okay, and I haven't let him out of my sight since. However, he's still in a bad way and I'm scared.
Any advice and support is welcome.
Thankyou.
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